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Ruffled Feathers
Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

Dear Cousin,

How are you?

I may be right if you say far from fine. Don't bother to explain, I've heard everything and I understand the reason you took that decision.

I cried all night when I heard. I fought my emotions and couldn't hold back tears because I've travelled that road before and I know the pain is searing.

She wasn't meant to be yours, she only came around to straighten you up. Nature is kind and always kind, nature knows what you want. Your feathers were too loose but she left them rather more ruffled than she met them. Reasons are best known to her but also this time you need to be strong.

Do not ponder over this for long, it's not worth the salt. Channel your energy into life, breathe into yourself and continue from where she left it. Like I always say, some are meant to be loved by another while other are meant to love without getting it back. Only God knows where each belongs to in life.

I became more concerned when I heard the extent of the damage. I heard it became physical, you began to inflict yourself. Don't worry again, I undestand and I've also travelled that road before. It relieves temporarily and create a mark on the body. I must also add, that it creates a more fatal mark in the heart, breeding contempt of humanity to the extent you may loose the essence of living. May Christ smile on us.

I'll beg you to refrain from further thoughts of her, forgive and forget. Let nature continue, do not fight emotions also, cry when you need to. Time will heal with just a little persevearance.

Also rememeber, that you are an individual, special in your own way, with numerous abilities no one else can boast of. That makes you different from anyother person. You need to let the world see these, but not through a dampened spirit.

Please do not hate. It kills the spirit & body and reduces Kings to slaves.

Have a free spirit, Its a healthy way of healing fast.

I will constanly be in touch as long as you want me to. We will travel the route back to life together. I'm not afraid to guide you because it's was a familiar but painful journey. However, I'm willing to travel it again with you if that will make you happy in life.

Your cousin and friend

Oyinade

June 30, 2008 | 5:41 AM Comments  0 comments

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Oga Madam Syndrome
Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

Now, This goes to all the career women. I just joined the boat and I strongly apologise for judging you before now.

In Nigeria, "Oga" means "Boss" and "Madam" of course means "Big Woman".

In context, "Oga Madam" simply means "Big Boss Woman" which is simply an expression for women either young or old that occupy an influencial position in their various offices or places of work.

It is also used spitefully during grapevine discussion amongt junior colleagues especially when she just finished wielding her powers to drive delivery on the job.

My Story:

I took up a job where I cannot be referred to as Oga Madam yet, cos I report to a Manager and I manage my business on my own. With no trainee of junior colleague attached to me, I go about my duties like the strong hearted woman I'm truly am.

I therefore do not have any reason to boss anyone around or probably deligate duties since there is no need for it. But there were actually attachees with some people and of course did all they were required to do dutifully so as to learn on the job.

I've always been against a "bitching boss" (Sorry if I used the B-word). Why would you tell aspiring young men & women what to do all the time when they can reason? Until I go involved in a younger male ego vs female colleague bout. That was when I realised there was more to it.

I'm not anti-male, it's not possible cos my father is a "Superstar" to me. I respect the male folk a lot and as I write, my Manager is another "Superstar".

But this over-zealous young executive decided to engage me on a Monday morning, I tried to be calm and understand the situation. However, from all indications, he was pissed at the fact that I was a younger woman on the job.

Going by the "bitching bosses rule", I was in every position to go on rampage and lash out out him. I was oppourtuned to deflate his ego and destroy his passion with words, but I chose not to. We are in a professional environment where organisational objectives are more important than individual cravings.

In my silence after the incident, I shook inside for women that have found themselves in similar positions and decide to create a scene and probable embarass the adrenaline junkie of a young man. The world will judge and judged wrongly. What a waste of energy?

I decided to stop blaming women on the job for irrational behaviours immediately, now that I've felt the sting, I feel for us all.

And who knows, maybe "b******g" is the real way to go irrespective of public opinions, to arrange "their" brains appropriately?

June 23, 2008 | 10:44 AM Comments  0 comments

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The Relationship between Good Governance and Public Health.
Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

I've decided to be a teacher today so be my guest student !

Good Governance is the process of decision-making and the process by which decisions are implemented (or not implemented). Governance can be used in several contexts such as corporate governance, international governance, national governance, and local governance.
Since governance is the process of decision-making and the process by which decisions are implemented, an analysis of governance focuses on the formal and informal actors involved in decision-making and implementing the decisions made and the formal and informal structures that have been set in place to arrive at and implement the decision.

Government is one of the actors in governance. Other actors involved in governance vary depending on the level of government that is under discussion. It may be Non Governmental Organizations, private parties, Individuals, and general public.
Good governance has 8 major characteristics. It is participatory, consensus oriented, accountable, transparent, responsive, effective and efficient, equitable and inclusive and follows the rule of law. It assures that the views of minorities are taken into account and that the voices of the most vulnerable in society are heard in decision-making. It is also responsive to the present and future needs of society.

The question now is “What has this got to do with Public Health?

The focus of a public health intervention is to prevent rather than treat a disease through surveillance of cases and the promotion of healthy behaviors. In addition to these activities, in many cases treating a disease can be vital to preventing it in others, such as during an outbreak of an infectious disease.

Many countries have their own government agencies, sometimes known as ministries of health, to respond to domestic health issues. Today, most governments recognize the importance of public health programs in reducing the incidence of disease, disability, and the effects of aging, although public health generally receives significantly less government funding compared with medicine.
Participation by both men and women is a key cornerstone of good governance. Participation could be either direct or through legitimate intermediate institutions or representatives. Involving individuals in taking lead when it comes to public health interventions will lessen the whole burden on the government. Individuals use their initiatives, which could be narrowed down to activities such as household cleanliness, personal cleanliness e.t.c.

Good governance requires full protection of human rights, particularly those of minorities such as orphan and vulnerable children, widows, commercial and transactional sex workers e.t.c. For the Government to boast of a total comprehensive health package, it services should cover such groups without prejudice.

Enough information about health can be provided and it should be provided in easily understandable forms and media. Such Information that promotes healthy living and how decisions are made may be given freely when available and directly accessible to those who will be affected by such decisions. This is Transparency. It helps to gain the confidence of the people.

Institutions and processes can be more sensitive by trying to serve all stakeholders within a reasonable timeframe. Health Interventions by parties should be made prompt and when necessary. This will bring out effect. Stakeholders will get the feeling that the decision makers have us in mind and they are ready to seek our well being since solutions were provided at the right time.
In linking good governance and public health, there is a complex web of several actors and many view points in a given society. This may require mediation of the different interests in society to reach a broad consensus in society on what is in the best interest of the whole community and how this can be achieved. It may be easier by first seeking background either cultural or religious and gaining a common ground or denominator. It helps to bring on further discussions and eventually one is able to mine the voices of people and determine where actions are relevant.
Actors should bear in mind that processes and context of processes should be result oriented.

This shows understanding of situation and effectiveness in a particular intervention or programme. The interventions when made should aim at sustainable social income. When such interventions are completed, their effects are still being felt.

Accountability is a key requirement of good governance and public health. One may say not only governmental institutions, private sector, and civil society organizations must be accountable to the public and to their institutional stakeholders but also this thrives on transparency and the rule of law.
As countries continue their work with passion towards attaining standard health for their citizens, the activity of actors, decision makers and even individuals cannot be ignored as this form the steps to the desired goal. All we need to do is to harness the powers of these characteristics and make then yield better result in public health interventions.

June 13, 2008 | 5:09 AM Comments  0 comments

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Me Love
Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

Wearing a ring with 10 different colours of gem stone is just awesome ! The jewelry blinking on your right hand is sure to raise controversies and questions as well. I walked into a store and saw it screaming at me for purchase. I'm not normally an impulse buyer but this little piece of art was hard to ignore. I quietly obeyed by instinct and emptied my wallet at the pay counter. I bought it for myself 'cos it makes me feel soooo goood. And I encourage every young woman of this world to purchase gifts for herself at different points in time. Even if he does the gift suprises, you shoud still do it at intervals to remind yourself that no one loves you like yourself.

May 19, 2008 | 10:58 AM Comments  0 comments

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Question of Trust
Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

I spoke to my boyfriend that I was to see a stranger later tonight in a hotel. I was used to confiding in my boyfriend and it’s so bad he even knows the dates of my monthlies ‘cos he knows just everything about me. It wasn’t so much of a challenge to tell him that I met a guy awhile ago in one of my many outings. The challenge however was telling him that the stranger was coming to town today and I had only tonight to see him in the hotel because he was returning the next morning.

I met the stranger at a business seminar 3 months ago. He sat behind me during lecturers and we incidentally fell beside each other for lunch. He initiated a professional conversation which I found very bold. Probably because he’s not a Nigerian and he doesn’t know the law of “Don’t talk to a Stranger”. After the event, we exchanged contacts and promised to get in touch with each other to talk more often about business.

I am a finicky person by nature, and I do not leave chances. I went digging into information wherever I found anything about him. Lucky him, most result were in his favour, he was a brain in the marketing industry with plenty years of experience, very knowledgeable and he was married. I received a call some weeks later from him and I returned the call which was simply mutual.

For one moment, I didn’t want to throw the baby and the bath water away. If this guy was a successful business man, why don’t I just learn from him? I’m not saying there are no business teachers in Nigeria but an honest conversation with him on how he made it to the top shouldn’t hurt.

All these I told my Sweetheart and for the first time in my life I got a near negative response. I could taste the fear in his replies: “Why in the night? Why in the hotel room? I’m a guy; don’t you think I know what can be on his mind? Do you have to speak to him? I have someone else you can talk to”. At the end, he completed his response by being complacent. He said “Baby, I know you like me so much you won’t do anything to hurt me. Just re-assure me you love me and we will both be fine.

I understand Sweetie very well, it was a tough call for him to let his Angel slip into oblivion for some 2 hrs. Not that he didn’t trust me but he was only human and even though he didn’t say this, “He wasn’t ready to let go of what we had for 2 seconds, we enjoy every moment together”. On the other hand, I didn’t fuss much ‘cos I knew what I was going to do I had my limitations. He may not know much about gender behaviours but we females do have guiding rules which allows us to put our feet down in compromising situations.

May be if you stick around more, you may get to read the outcome of the controversial visit. And to my Sweetheart, my Angel, you will always be the one. Nothing can change that ‘cos I belong to you. Cheers!

May 9, 2008 | 4:41 AM Comments  0 comments

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The Little Things We Do
Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

I had my sister who is 2 years younger than me come to my house for weekend. She is a final year student studing Econimics in a Federal University situated in another State. We have not always been close to each other for sometime 'cos my parents stay further in my home town which is 5 hours drive from where I reside. Whenever she's home during the holiday, am not around. So she decided to check on me since I won't visit either.

I love famiy visits and I look forward to it. I find it very complimentary and I appreciate every visit from cousins, aunts, uncles e.t.c.

This particular visit was quite perculiar. I didn't realised I was living on the fast lane. Wake up in the morning without saying good morning to anyone before heading for work, skipping breakfasts, forgetting to reply messages and missed calls e.t.c.

It was close of business on one of those days my sister was around. She called my phone and asked if I'll like to have boiled yam and scrambles eggs when I get home. I instantly turned down the offer and told her not to bother cooking. Don't get me wrong, I didn't just take a spontanous move. I just felt I would be asking for too much. Why do I need to make her do the cooking simply because she's around and has free time.

I thought I was pretty smart by dashing into a popular fast food outlet and buying a packed meal for two. I was all smiles when I got home. I opened the door and asked her why she was going to stress herself instead of sending me a text to tell me what menu to bring home for her. She acted suprised and replied "I still cook everyday just like you used to do, have you forgotten? she replied.

Well, I just shrugged my shoulders and said "Maybe I'm currently under - utilising my skills". We had a long laugh and before I knew it, she served her own meal which she made for herself alone since I refused to accept her offer. I also served my pre-packed food and we sat at the table to eat and catch up on old times (or young times !)

She was having eggs while I was having chicken. Then nolstagia and the bad habit we shared when we were younger suddenly set in, we started nibbling at each others plate. in a spit of a second, we forgot my own plate while we concentrated on hers. Her's was suddeny tastier and more appetizing. I moved my chair closer and we started talked about everytihing. I tried to find out what was refreshing about the food but I could only figure out what I've missed.

We used to run around the house together, laugh together, make fun of mistakes and promise each other to move on, trust each other, tell tales to each othe, cook new menu together e.t.c

I also figured out that the most times we got closer was when we do the "bad habits" together like we just did by eating from the same plate, snugging into each other room after bedtime to discuss the day, check each other at individual classrooms even after breaktime is over to share brilliant test results, try to cover up each other when mum finds out a mistake and talk about the truth later e.t.c.

I didn't tell her what I experienced during the magical moment. For me, even after we did the dishes, I apologised to her in my heart. I think I've neglected her and so many other friends and family members as well. I've denied them of those meaningful moments they may never get from anyone else due to the "corporate world".

And I've also promised to bring the magic back in every little oppourtunity I have and keep the fire burning !

May 5, 2008 | 1:39 PM Comments  1 comments

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Dress Code.
Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

Sunday 15th April

Oh no, NEPA at their best again. Some times I wonder if they feel comfortable whenever we pay bills for no services. The black-outs were becoming more constant nowadays. Well, what’s in the freezer will still be chilled with residual frost before they come back to their senses so I really don’t need to worry. Ah ah. It’s back again. What exactly do they take this electricity for in their office, toy switches? Let’s see what I have to iron for the week. Now I have to iron clothes for the next 5 working days ‘cos only God knows when they’ll blackout again.

Monday 16th April

Aw! 6:30am and I’m still in bed. Gosh. I scurried into the bathroom. Dressing was just too simple. An unexciting white long sleeve shirt on a brown knee length pleated skirt. Now this is what I call boring. White on brown color. How will people accept this? Let me try silver earrings on, the small one though and the thin wired necklace. Is this jewelry not too unnoticeable? What’s wrong with me this morning? And the skirt, it’s not just falling well, looks like what ballerinas wear on stage. Time for make up; sorry no time. Its 8:00am and I resume 8:30am. Now is the time the whole world will see what I’m hiding. No Iman powder, the Estee Lauder mascara, Cover Girl lipstick and my irresistible Fashion Fair lip gloss. Hmm, God save the girl.

Tuesday 17th April

Yea, woke rather early today. This is a day to set all my wrongs right. The shower took 55mins, not so bad at least I woke up 5:30 am so there’s time on my side. Wow, this fuscia pink shirt will just do. It’s got white frills giving it a diva look. The pants, grey to black straight cut. Such cut accentuate my body and gives me this confident look. My make over session took 15mins. The eyeliner just in the right place, I used blue colored mascara today instead of black to achieve the Hollywood look, the lip shimmer came before the lip gloss and the finishing was just perfect. Steeping out of the house with confident strides, I carried this look of “I know ya all lookin at me but it aight”. I invested time in getting this look so I deserve the attention.

Wednesday 18th April

It’s mid-week and the dressing frenzy is down. The sea blue shirt will just go on the black striped pants. No drama today, the week is old. I will just enhance my look a little with the gold loop earrings and lighter make-up. Light fragrance and suede shoes to go. These will save my fashion disaster today.

4:30pm
My phone buzzed while I was preparing to close from work and a calm male voice made himself clear:
Stranger: Hello, am I speaking to Oyinade?
Myself: Yes please, this is Oyinade
Stranger: Oh good, am sorry to disturb to but I couldn’t help but place this call.
Myself: Who am I speaking with please?
Stranger: Ok…Hmm, this is Olalekan and I am an admirer.
Myself: Well, Olalekan, you are a stranger so how may I help you.
Stranger: Like I said earlier on, am sorry to bother you. I saw you on Monday morning trying to walk into your office. You were sporting a White shirt on Brown skirt, am I right?
Myself: Yea…
Stranger: You were looking really great and attractive; I couldn’t get to talk to you ‘cos I was also heading to my office.
Myself: Oh, how did you now get my number and where do you work?
Stranger: Permit me, I didn’t introduce myself properly, I work with Trans bank in the head office located on Victoria Island. I’m into corporate banking at the aviation desk. I got your number from a friend that was sitting beside me in my car. She claimed she knew you ‘cos she’s your sister’s friend. Your sister works on the island too in right?
Myself: Yea…
Stranger: I just wanted you to know to keep your style up; you looked really great & cool in your outfit.
Help Me Ohh…..Monday!!! Not even Tuesday that I was dressed to kill.

April 28, 2008 | 8:32 AM Comments  0 comments

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Keepin' Happi
Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

I took a second look at my picture on my profile and for a minute, I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I called a friend to take a closer look if she could figure it out, only to find out I was trying hard to smile. My profile could have become more friendy and receptive if only I showed guest how they are so much welcome with a smile. I guess I took that picture at the wrong time of the day!

All I want to say is for every expression you make, you infect (or is it affect?) others that come in contact with it. You can imagine if you smile to at least to 10 people a day and they in turn smile to others. We will definatey have a chain of smilling people around the world. Who knows, we may not even need the sun to brighten up our days anyonger if one persons can just smile !


April 28, 2008 | 8:19 AM Comments  0 comments

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Ready ?
Related to country: Nigeria


I think one of the best things that can happen to an individual is to be able to make the right choices and go ahead to teacher others how to do so. I think this is going to make us proud as young people.

June 1, 2006 | 9:42 AM Comments  0 comments

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